No matter how much fun it is or how much joy the outcome brings, showing up is still a right pain in the arse. It's something I know but still need reminding of. After what felt like an eternity, I've finally got sick of me being a right princess and was finally able to embrace what needs doing. It isn't easy—that's one of the reasons it's satisfying. Strange as it may sound. Or not, I really don't know. I had to really drag my feet to have a sit down and try to puke out a few words onto the screen. The last hundred words felt like the longest ones I've ever had to write. The reason I have nothing to write about is that I've managed to do fuck all in the last week or two. I've lost count at this point. This morning I did manage to just get ahead of my excuses and head straight to work. It was oddly satisfying. I got quite a bit done and felt quite good despite being injured, which led to a shitty sleep.
Strange injuries
It's wild how most of my injuries have happened during ancillary workouts. Stuff that I do just when I can't squat. I've been squatting heavy again after a couple of weeks and it's been totally fine, despite my fellow gym members scaring me out of it. When shit's heavy, I tend to pay full attention because there is not a lot of room to slack off when you are at the bottom of a squat with about 155kgs. It's a strange injury too. My best guess is that it was the push press that I was doing yesterday. One of those reps felt a bit strange. I was quite warm at the time so did not think much of it. It's a strange injury too. It's right next to the bone on the back that you can slide your hands into. So I've seen others do. I can barely touch it. It kept waking me up every time I turned. I'll probably rest it tomorrow as I want to get back to my squats. I'm working towards my next milestone. I'm thinking 175-180kg for the back squat and 145-150kg on the front squat. The front squat is feeling quite strong. I should be able to do 150 or more, provided the injury gets better soon. To be fair, both squats are feeling quite good despite the smallish break. Usually it takes a lot longer to get back to the strength I was at. I've found that a week is perfect. Anything more, the rest-to-effort ratio to get the strength back is not worth it.
It's been a bit all over the place today. It has been such a day. At the same time, things are moving in the right direction. It's better than last week. That's good enough for me. At the end of the day, what I'm trying to convey is that a lot of times you just got to show up despite how unmotivated you feel. To be honest, I have found my motivation to squat very sparse—maybe ten percent of the time I'm highly motivated. At the same time, I feel a lot better a hundred percent of the time. It's the same with all other things that I really care about.