Can't help but think like a programmer, cause I am one. It's what I love to do, more than the products I build, it's the act of building itself that gets me going. Fine, the end result also helps sometimes. So I can't help but approach things from the perspective of a programmer. It's my hammer and this time the nail is me. It's kind of wild really, a program that corrects itself, or can correct itself, that's what we are. At least in my eyes. As of now, what we carry in our noggin is the most advanced tech that we operate and the programming is just phenomenal, it's not perfect but when programming something that is free to operate at it's own will, create it's own meaning and purpose, create what it wants, have beliefs, even shape it's own reality; perfection can get in the way. Free will is complicated. Yet me the program can realize that I control all of my actions. The next realization is that If I can control my action, I can shape my reality to be what I want it to be. If it is the way it is, I am the only person responsible. Sure others can tell you who you are and what you should do but it's your spine that decides which fiber in your body to move and to act. It's a fascinating realization. It's one I remind myself quite often. The easiest way to do it is to own everything you do, everything that happens to you. Not my words, it's the generous book by one Mr. Jocko Willink. A book that I read years ago but only understood a few months ago. I had to live through some shit of my own making to realize what the words really meant. Good news is that, if you can put yourself in this mess you can also pull yourself out.
What does this have to do with refactoring you ask? For a long time my focus has been to fix me, I'm trying a new approach. I'm trying to make myself braver to face whatever demons I'm running from. A minute at a time. To face the fears, discomforts and desires as they arise and just sit there. That's it really. It came from a simple question, "How can I improve something that I don't understand?". Me being that something. It's not easy, I still fail sometimes and I give in. But I don't abandon the idea, just because I failed once. I try again. It's a worthwhile pursuit, to understand who I am and what I am capable of. Regardless of what it will mean for my life, getting to know myself in my entirety is a worthy cause. Otherwise, I have to rely on others to tell me who I am. How can they know? When I don't.
The solutions are simple, that does not make them easy. Want to own a business? Start one. You'll learn things along the way. The same goes for most things in life. I've been trying to find hacks all my life, for someone to tell me exactly what to do. All it leads to is long delays and you end up thinking If I had just done the thing I avoided, which usually is rolling my sleeves up and diving in, I would have been done by now. Yet, some lessons are learned the hard way. This one is just one of them. Better now than ten years later.
Not sure If any of this makes any sense, I might have to revisit this. I had one idea when I started but it's turned into something else all together.