The movies and social media have distorted reality. Or maybe I have distorted expectations from those stories. In all honesty, rebuilding yourself from the ashes of yourself looks as pathetic and unsexy from the outside as it can get. The correction of that expectation has done me great good. In fact, letting go of most expectations has done me a world of good. They creep in still, but at least I can remind myself to let it go. As an example, let's say you are trying to get leaner. Each meal that you eat or don't eat in order to serve that goal will not make you lean on its own. In your head, it's pain either way; at least with the previous one you could enjoy some pleasure in the form of food. The first step is to acknowledge that what you are going to do is going to suck. It just does. Apparently, it makes it a lot easier to handle when going through it. The second step is a lot harder; it's to let go of any expectations of the result. You cannot be as lean as you want today. The only thing you can focus on is the task of eating well right now. For me, I find it's even better to lose count of how many days I've managed to do it and how many I have to go. After all, the goal is to stay lean. As a side note, I used to think if I failed once, it was all a failure. Some failure is to be expected. Sure, it'll cause a dip in your progress, but the train of progress you have made thus far is still intact. That last one took me a long while to grok. That was just an example. I'm not lean, so don't take my word for it.
Where this has helped me the most is being consistent. To find joy in the moment in the things I do and get rid of the things I don't. Leaving room for failures. Being present is the ultimate goal really. It makes life a lot more manageable, especially when it's all going to shit around you. So overall, I'd like to say that change takes time and the pace of improvement is slower and faster than you imagine it to be. You have won if you still find yourself walking the walk. The rest is out of your hands; leave it that way. Now rise, my pathetic Phoenix.