In a year that has marked quite the transformation within me and has been more like the very long b-roll for an inspirational movie only I would watch, I'd like to end it well. It started around August or September, but I quite vividly remember on September 14 deciding to write every day, which rocked the first domino, which has since led to a few dominoes being stacked down the line. So by this September 14, I'd like to have written 300 blog posts. Although I did not start at 0 there were like 14 posts already present—I'd be more than happy with 286 blog posts in 365 days. I was thinking of pushing it a bit towards the end and doing 300, but then that's not what I'm measuring. I want to know how much I can do if I do a little bit every day and see how many I can do over a decade. Honestly, I was too focused on the outcome and totally negated the action. It in no way feels like I have become a better writer, but then again, it's only been a year. I'd like to know how good I can be in three, then five and ten. It obviously means I need to be around and playing the game till that time.
Why write?
No particular reason—I've always enjoyed writing since I can remember. My mind is constantly running and it can feel quite overwhelming at times, probably why I love distracting myself so much. Writing helps; for the thirty minutes I spend sitting down and writing, the words just seem to flow and my mind becomes quiet and entirely focused on the act of writing. Probably why I love programming so much. Although it does not happen often, in a week there is at least a day where I'm in a state of flow. It's why monks meditate, I guess—to be in a perpetual state of flow. I can see the appeal. It's not my path, at least not yet. I enjoy my craft too much.
This week I started reading Mastery. It's surprisingly easy to read. It's been sitting on my shelf for a year; something sparked a curiosity to read it. One of the things he mentioned or gives examples of people who were masters of their craft was that they all seemed to be drawn to the things they were doing. They couldn't explain it. Writing for me is one of those things, and programming is another one. I remember when I was seventeen and sitting on my computer, I dreamed of being able to build things by writing words on the terminal, which made me quite happy as I am living that dream. Tmux and Neovim, baby. It's hard to explain, but I'm completely obsessed with programming. I'm either exploring something I have never done or wanted to; if I'm not, I'm miserable. I'm bored and completely useless. My training suffers and I'm not the best person to be around. At the same time, I have to put in the effort to get my ass to the chair. When your goal is to get better, you're almost always operating at the edge of your competence. It's not fun, not always. It brings with it its own set of frustrations. Yet I'll take it any day over the frustration from the feeling of stagnation.
I'm somewhere in the middle of my mastery. I'm not very good yet, but I'm better than I have been even compared to six months ago. Much better. There are other markers I've set like the 300; I shall talk about them in the coming months.