It's day nine since I've been waking up at 0400 and I yet to be able to function at a full capacity. I get the feeling like I'm only half awake most of the time. On the bright side I've been able to make a ton of progress on the display driver and I can now draw stuff on the screen. Today I've managed to print a letter onto the screen, it's facing totally the wrong direction, I have no idea to turn it around but I've been feeling that about every step I've made so far. At first I did not know what to do with a datasheet then I had no clue how to turn the display on and then I had no idea why I couldn't write to the display. But all of those things have passed and I do know how to do those things. So this is just another one of those hurdles that will be overcome as time goes on. It's quite strange how it has such a grip on me, even though I've done a lot of these in the past, every time I encounter this, it's the same doubts. I guess the doubts will never go away. The only thing that has changed is that, it's stopped dictating my actions. I've been learning to sit down and try regardless.
Trying the easiest things
This might be not a very popular opinion, and my ego prevents me from doing this a lot of the times but I do think being able to get started is the best thing you can do for yourself. If that means trying the simplest thing possible, the thing that you are almost sure will not work is a great place to start. There is something about taking that first step, it's quite the momentum builder. You try something and your brain just starts coming up with all these other things you could try. Action is the only idea you need, the rest can and will only be figured out along the way. Provided you've never tried this thing before. If it's something you know, a bit of forward thinking is priceless. But when you have no fucking clue, any step taken is progress.
I will get used to this
I'm pretty sure the tiredness will pass, I will get used to this. My body is just getting used to the schedule. Especially my eating has taken a hit, as I find myself hungry at the strangest times. It's all part of the process. It also means I have to say no to a lot of things and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out. At the same time, my desire to succeed is far greater than anything right now. When life sucks you don't need any other motivation to drive you forward. Only faith in the process and to do things differently to what put you in this position in the first place.
Mostly I want to know what the outcome will look like at eighty percent effort compared to let say thirty in the past. I want to know how far I can go, I give it most of what I've got.