Yesterday I wrote about the drama that was opening a window in Linux. At least it felt that way to me. It was just pure frustration. Yet as I was writing about the "short cut" I took by using SDL3 to achieve the same end result, something just woke up inside of me. Where all of a sudden the perspective changed from I have to get this to work to I get to embark on this challenge of understanding Gtk. Maybe even one day be comfortable working with it. It also felt like the whole essence of building Handmade Hero. To teach myself that I too can do it with a little bit of direction and effort. So I'm proud to say that I have managed to open the exact Window that I wanted open, with title bar and everything. For some reason I struggled opening a window with a title bar with all the abstractions for opening a window. But with Gtk the window looks like any other application I run. I have a whole new appreciation for Gtk. I don't fully understand it but I'm determined to understand how it works and how communication happens with the components within a Gtk App. It was a blank window but it felt so sweet. A small victory.
I love a big challenge, today I understood why
Previously I've talked my addiction with Porn, YouTube and many other things. Also my inability to say no to a vice when offered. I've always looked at it as a curse. Tried to imagine a life without it. When they say God works in mysterious ways they were not fucking around. Every curse is also a blessing. As I was listening to the podcast by the Healthy Gamer with ThePrimeagen I realized something about myself. I have this innate desire to go after things that are difficult. When I wanted to get leaner, I decided to face my problems with food and fix that first even though it meant in the short term I gained some weight. Out of the blue I decided I want to find out If I could squat 160Kg. Turns out I could, now I want to see if I can squat 220Kg. Over an intuition out of the blue like the voice of God I realized I that I want to quit being a dive instructor and try to learn programming again. To go all in I let my instructor license expire so that I would have no other options. Somehow I felt like I could not fail.
This is a great insight as it explains why I love putting everything on the line to go after what I want. Also why I don't need to do that. I just need to switch the perspective and go after bigger and more ambitious goals without starting from scratch. Yet If I have to I will. A lot of these things I knew about myself but unlike some people I lack the confidence or the assurance to talk with authority about it. Mainly because I'm not a 100% sure about anything. I like that about myself. It leaves room for things to be pleasantly surprised.