Mostly it's in my own head. Mostly around my befuddlement of why people are the way they are. Not all, but quite a lot. The worse part is that I know it's pointless (to complain). Even worse is some of these realizations only came to me in my thirties. One of the simplest yet profound ones for me was that...
People lie, all the time
I'm not talking about the usual lies. I'm speaking of the things that most people say that they want. They aren't lying to others, something even more diabolical. They are lying to themselves. It's the reason why very few people live the life they want. Not because they are special, it's just that they know what they want. Moreover they know what it'll take to live that life. But most people, just like the idea of having what they want. The worse ones are those who think they are living that life but all they are doing is living a shadow of that life. Doing the bare minimum. Yet when they speak it seems like they know what they are talking about. This quickly falls apart when you spend a couple of weeks with them or observe them over a course of a year.
Catching your own lies are hard
It's not their fault. Being honest with yourself is quite hard. It means admitting things that you loathe about your world. It's admitting the fact that we are not so different from the worst of us. At the same time the only way to stop being the worse we have been is to admit it. Not obscuring it with clever lies. I was the same. Most of my problems, at least the ones that bothered me came out of lies I told myself. Over and over again for decades. Mostly to be accepted.
The good news
Is that it's never too late to start practicing complete honesty with yourself. An easy way to practice this is to be honest with others. Being honest with yourself is a lot harder. Mainly because the truth has been buried deep down due to years of avoidance, fear and self deceit. I myself still struggle with it, but I've been managing to bring the time to realization down from years to months to weeks and sometimes days. The upsides are that my internal voices are a lot more clearer. I have an understanding of what I am feeling and why, at least a lot more than I did before.
My simple truths
- There are no shortcuts in life
- Show up, do the work, and go home (the secret to excellence)