Programming seems to have seeped into my bones. Ever since I decided to quit everything and become a programmer. I had made a decision that I will not quit till I have my foot in the door. No safety nets, backups or plans. This was it, I was willing to be homeless for it. At the same time I knew I couldn't fail, the question was always when not if. Somehow I also knew at the time that I was solving the root cause of most my problems. Money.
Since then I feel as if programming has become a way of life, to solve for y, the problem not the cause. I only bring it up as I've been trying to understand my relationship with food. Over the decade my weight has been in constant transition, never the same between years. My first instinct was to try all sorts of diets (Keto, Carnivore, Slow carb) and training intensity. The end result over time was the same. Back to square one and then some.
Then the programmer in me decided to face the root cause, and find out the why behind my food addiction. It was my comforter and reward. Hunger was not the reason I ate most times, it was mostly on emotional queues. Also, at the same time I've never ate freely. It had to be earned, like a cheat meal. That was the first thing I got rid of. Nothing had to be earned, eat what I want, when I want. Remove all the emotional triggers before and after. Don't do anything to get rid of the excess calories. Very quickly the desire to eat to feel good just went away. From the outside things looked exactly the same but I knew I was onto something.
You might be wondering why not just train a bit harder. It just masks the problem. Plus, I train because I enjoy it, I don't want to do it because I have to and I don't want it to be un-enjoyable. It's how I keep my sanity, I do it for it's own sake, everything else is a bonus if anything.
The hardest part in all of this is to spend weeks or sometimes months with no visible changes. At times even getting worse. True change I suppose is slow, but the rewards are exponential. Over the years I've learned to appreciate the process and focus on that, letting go of the result. You get a lot more mileage out of your efforts, if you enjoy the process.